A Social Security Call 2 Month Wait
Since my last post I have hardly gone outside of my four walls. The bigger problem is still the nonstop rainy weather. The other is I can’t get out of my own way. Though I am home full-time I don’t get much time alone, that’s always been important to me. Time to do little things like hobbies and caring for myself better. My son works afternoons into evening so he and I are here together days and he leaves as my husband is coming home. Somehow it seems like I had more “me time” while I was working. Now I feel like I’m the caretaker, cook, and non wage earner, all of it makes me bristle. I’m sure it’s just me over thinking things, I just need to snap out of this funk, I miss working. On the plus side I’m not in as much daily physical pain but damn.
Normally we go out weekends but not so much the last two weeks. The tourist season driving through town and parking is a struggle on its own. Though the weather has been ridiculously rainy it hasn’t kept the downtown foot traffic from being less along with parking. We live in a tiny town that wants to be a big one because it wants more money. There has been a large influx in the building of high end condominiums and businesses but no way to accommodate the amount of vehicles that arrive with it. I do miss our walks visiting the rows of tiny street shops. The best time of year here for that is just after Labor Day. In early autumn the area becomes empty once again as vacationers return home and we go back to the more sleepy small town persona. I too love that time of the year and the slower pace.
I’m usually on top of the area summer activities but somehow missed this week begins the local Hampton Beach Sand Sculpture Competition held each year. The entrants come from far and wide and create some truly amazing detailed sand artwork. Some are private individuals and others are business representatives. I’m purely a spectator, I’ve been an artist since childhood, later I went on to Art School. It mesmerizes me to watch these people chisel out the fine details with such care. I understand them and it reminds me of when I used to paint children and pet portraits for customers decades ago. I’d put so much work and care into each project I’d hate to let it go though they paid me. That was a time in my life I also realized that doing it as a job would ruin my love for creating art. My mother was also an artist and when I knew her she had artwork in a few galleries located in Los Angeles and San Diego California where she last resided. That was another lifetime.
The 2024 - 2025 talk of the New England coast isn’t about the tourists or the weather, but of the noticeable increasing shark population beach goers and boaters are witnessing. Recently in southern Maine not far from here a local was a bit stunned to witness one swimming in the shallows more than likely chasing bait fish. It was the fact that the surf was no deeper than your knees that surprised everyone. I’d only seen scenes like this while living in Florida. In the last four years there have also been Orcas and a larger amount of whales spotted breaching just offshore between Maine and Massachusetts, sometimes landing on boats and sea kayaks.
My husband and myself have always joked we don’t want to start the “going to the doctor roller coaster” but in fact we already have. Normally a doctor appointment is initiated because of my health but I’m noticing now it’s not so much me as my husband. At the end of last week my husband had a small coin size bruise on his arm returning from work. Then while having dinner I kid you not it suddenly began swelling at such an alarming rate, I rotated bags of frozen food from the freezer to his arm and we kept that pace up over hours until the swelling calmed down.
I’d never seen anything do that unless it was a broken bone or a sprain. The odd thing is he had no pain at all. The next day the bruise appeared and began to spread getting very big and again very fast. He only could recall slightly bumping it, certainly not so hard as to cause such a reaction. We waited and watched it two days, but on day two I decided it needed looking at so off we went to the family doctor. I understand as we age our skin thins and we bruise easy yes, but this was so extreme so fast it rattled me.
My husband is five years older but rarely ever gets sick, he certainly never bruised easily. Of the two of us bruising has always been my talent especially being B12 deficient. The doctor we see is the best we have experienced and knowledgeable. Thus far the only medication each of us is on due to age is a statin for cholesterol, along with taking calcium. She looked carefully at his arm and after he answered her questions she didn’t seem worried. As a precaution she sent out an order for some blood work to be done. Driving home I reminded him we needed to stop off at the hospital and get his blood taken to which he replied “nope I’m fine.” I can see how aging with him is going to go, lord give me strength not to smack him. Yes of course he will go, the blood work order is good for 14 days. I just need to let him think he is in charge.
The next sequence of events are all garden (less) related. I added the (less) because both our lily and vegetable garden are no more. Our garden lilies that we have been growing in the ground the last three years had not bud yet but were close. Then one early afternoon while we weren’t home a new lawn service man came to clear some clutter and trim the lawns. Arriving home we saw he had done such a great job that he had weed whacked every flower that was in our lily garden into oblivion.
I felt gut punched and angry, but I knew he had no idea they were there and the grass around that area had overgrown. I informed our elderly landlady what had happened with the guy she hired. She felt horrible and had meant to mention the flowers were there to him but at age 80 had forgotten. Wanting to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, I was somewhat pleased to see a few remaining Crocuses through my bedroom window untouched. They were already blooming so were spared the lawn man blindly chopping them down.
Remember the post showing my husband planting his vegetables and something had gotten to the peas? He had tried everything but a fence due to the small garden size and we won’t do that again. The fence should have been first, or some sort of barrier. Mothballs were a big fail, along with other so-called remedies. He had gone out and replenished his peas and squash plants, only to find them all gone the very next morning. Days later we caught the hungry culprit on camera, a very large very fat woodchuck and that was the end of that garden. We reverted to salvaging some squash plants and will plant them in 5 gallon pales close to the house as in recent years. In the past we had grown a lot of food that way and successfully, it’s just not pretty. For whatever reason the tomato plants and our potatoes left in the garden out back are thriving untouched. My shot glass is still half full right?
That all aside, worse things could happen in life to rant about but haven’t … yet. Not being accustomed to not working I am wandering around in a haze trying to find my rhythm. I had become so well versed in my weekly routine work - home schedule that being suddenly laid off in a text message threw me for a loop yes. I spent the next day and since then once again going back to my resume and applying for employment. I was told when hired to this last job it was permanent and made the mistake of believing it for once. I always showed up early, and I always left last. These days dedication doesn’t get you the same respect as it used to and I was foolish. Nothing in life is permanent.
Today I started making a to-do list and will follow it because I need structure. Thursday is my phone appointment with my local Social Security office regarding my retirement application. We have all heard and read the horror stories about the Trump administration and Social Security. I filed and yes it was easy, I got a fast response all electronically. Did they screw it up?, of course! That was back in April, I had to call the national number who then identified the mistake and scheduled me a phone appointment in June. I’ve waited 2 months for this call to come and I pray that they remember to phone me and can fix the mistake they made.
My happy place in this old house and complicated world is always my kitchen, I wonder why? Tonight I’m making my husband and son an Asian noodle vegetable dish with ground chicken added. I figured the ground chicken was probably the lesser evil while my husband is avoiding meat these days. My son mentioned he’d noticed he couldn’t stomach certain things now he is in his 40’s and I verbally welcomed him to midlife with a grin, or maybe a grimace. I hope I haven't sent anyone reading this off to sleep and if I tend to repeat anything please forgive me it's just my age.
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